I FEEL I HAVE LOST MY ABILITY TO WRITE

Hello Friends,
Yes, again it has been 6 months since I posted.  I feel I have lost my ability to write or put any thoughts into words on a page.  I am serious.  See all I can think of is I sentences that do not say much of anything.  Yet, my desire is to share these thoughts that I still have a desire to write.  Maybe my brain has not been exercised enough to use words any more.  Well, it sounds like I need to get started again before I loss my thinking all together.  I'm sure some of you think I am kidding but I am not.

As the prayer goes, "LORD, help my unbelief".  I am praying, "LORD, help me to remember how to think and use words so they are interesting and have some meaning".

My granddaughter Annie spent last night with us, and has been working on playing the piano last night and this morning.  She sounds pretty decent for having never had a lesson or even a sheet of music in front of her.  But she is using her ears, and playing keys that sounds good to her.  This is what I need to be doing with words.  It does help to have some direction, a teacher and some training before getting to far in learning to play the piano.  They say practice makes perfect.  It sure helps, but what if you are learning it without knowing timing and techniques?  She is getting a lot of joy out of trying.  This is what I need to do.  Find the joy in just getting some words written.

Oh yes, Annie is also recording her practice and listening to them back on an iPad.  I will type in my blog and make some 'word' recordings and re-read what I've written to see how I sound!  This could be fun again.  Right now it sure feels like an exercise.

Thank you for reading this far if you have.  I will be back shortly.
Cathy

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I want to further explain how I feel I have lost the ability to really communicate.  Sometimes we can go through times of depression, or sickness, or just mysteriously losing interest in things and what we use to take for granted is now seeming impossible to get back.  It could be joy, or health or a hobby of some kind like sewing or writing.  This is where I find myself.  I lost most my interests a few years ago.  It was like a switch just went off inside of me.  So I have just coasted through days and weeks and now years without fighting to keep what use to mean so much to me.  Then after a sudden but serious illness this summer, I realized that maybe I have to fight to keep what I know would be in my best interest.  God gives each of us abilities or interests for our good, and for His Glory!  Whether it is crocheting something to give to others like I use to do or writing to keep in touch with people.

I always loved the verses:

John 17:4
I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do .
KJV

Phil 2:13
3 For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.
KJV

1 Thess 4:11
And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;
KJV

Heb 13:16
But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.
KJV

Kind of like the Nike add, Just Do It!
Cathy

News

I wrote an email today to a dear friend who writes a blog. Her name is Linda and her blog can be found here: http://webbsway-thesewinggranny.blogspot.com/   I just love reading her blogs and hearing about her days on her little farm and dealing with her beloved animals, and working on her crochet or sewing projects.  I hope you look her up and follow her!!!  Tell her I sent you to her!!

I'm not been wanting to write with so much going on in my life right now.  But I do think it is a healthy thing to do to get my thoughts out and share with you my friends and family.  Most might already know some of the struggles, but I'll put it out here for prayers if you would please.

My mother in law passed away and we had a very nice memorial service.  That night I got the flu for 10 days!  There was also lots to do  and decisions to make to finish out her accounts and get her settled in her earthly location.  God is so good to bring along friends and family lend such great support!  It is also a time to bring our extended family together.

I am undergoing some heath testings regarding my breasts.  They have done the mammogram, and in a few days sent me for 2 more indepth testing with a radiologist so I went home with the findings.  Now I have to make some biopsy appointments for at least 3 different growths.  A radiologist will be on site and may move to a more serious biopsy if it seems needed.  I am up for this to find out what I am dealing with.  My peace reigns through my Faith in Christ Jesus, my eternal king that loves me.  With whatever the outcomes is, I know God's Mercy rules fully.  I praise His Name for this!!!!

HE KNOWS MY NAME  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXsiWoyjw60

Love and hugs to you my friends!!!
Cathy

Another Blessed Day

This is NO JOKE!!!!  I have written out and posted pictures for this post today TWICE, and after the end of writing it, it has disappeared!!!!!!!!!!  I'm so frustrated right now, but will give this one last try!  LOL~  I have actually had a very good day~  I guess this is my trial to see if I will still feel blessed!  I DO!!!

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Thursdays are a very special day at our house.  We have our two girls, Donna and Joan over for lunch.  I try to fix a nice lunch that gives us fun choices.  Today was baked cod, crispy bacon, tater tots, lima beans, asparagus, cooked cabbage with vegetables, hot pickles and black olives.  It was really tasty!  

After we ate, Donna and Joan helped Don bring in the treadmill from the garage into the kitchen/dining room.  Donna has a Million Step Challenge going on for the next 3 months.  Even though I am not taking that challenge, I did get a step watch to help me start to increase my steps daily.  It is a good daily challenge just to get up and try to walk more than normal.  Donna jumped on while we were talking the last 20 minutes before she left and got in 2,000 steps!  Go Donna!

I had a mammogram appointment late afternoon.  Don drove me and dropped me off at the door so I could run on up to the office.  Shortly I heard Don out in the hall talking and laughing with someone.  Turns out it was two very good friends of ours who just happened to be at the same hospital we were in, and had gotten off on the wrong floor.  After my appointment we ran into them again as they were leaving when we were.  So we decided to go to Red Robin Hamburger for dinner together.  It was so much fun.  I called it our Divine Appointment Surprise.  God is so good to give us these awesome surprises in life!

I am now holding my breath as this is where it has this post has disappeared at this point twice!  So I am going to quickly upload this, and saying, May God Bless YOU in a special way!!!  Love and Hugs~

Recent Journal Notes

February 27, 2019 – Wednesday

Good Morning! It is only 5am and I can't sleep. My brain got engaged, so even though I did not get enough sleep I'm awake. My first thoughts were about Ryan having gone to the ER yesterday due to waking up in the morning and have a tightness on the left side of his chest going through to his back. Don, Donna and I convinced him to go to see doctor just to be on the safe side. We all prayed and I know the LORD answered our prayers.

Yesterday was a full day. I had a nice lunch with my friend Lois at Panera Bread. Lois was the one that I have known for many, many years from Christian Scribes writers group. Lois started the writers group about 40 years ago, and just stepped down from it a couple years ago. She has also been helping out or leading a bible study at the nursing home Alva, my mother in law lived in up until she passed away on February 2, 2019. Lois felt immediately after Alva passed on to Heaven to give her a memorial service there at the Home for Alva's staff and friends there. As it turned out, mostly family was able to come. This was truly a blessing for the entire family, and some friends that came. We all saw a few miracles the LORD worked out in the family, so we could all be reconnected and joined as a family. Alva's prayers were answered for her boys to be brought together again in unity.

Lois shared with me how she met her beloved husband. I enjoyed learning how they met, and what a blessing their marriage has been to them over these past almost 60 years! They met while catching a train in Boston during her college years.

March 1, 2019 – Friday

This writing is not going as I hoped it would. It seems harder to journal than I imagine in my mind. So I'm going to try a little harder.

I finally got enough sleep in last night. My Cpap machine said it was 8.5 hours exactly! Way better than my 3 to 4 hours a night and then having to at little naps here and there.

My other main goals besides writing and blogging is to read my Bible daily and start walking more. I can walk around my house, go outside or go to a store or the Kettering Rec Center. Donna and her family have started the Million Steps Challenge for the next 3 months. They all got pedometer watches to keep track. She said Walmart sells them for $30 so I might get one.

Memory: I was reminded of a story I wrote and just loved when I was in about 7^th grade. It was called THE MOUSE IN THE COOKIE JAR. I don't remember now exactly how the story went, but I do remember being so proud of the story I had created. I can journal write, but never been one for imaginary writing.

The Inner Circle has been very active on Marco Polo this morning. It is a fun way to start the day off connecting with everyone, and just seeing what they have to share so early. Joan and Elizabeth haven't been on yet though. Maybe later. I know Joan is still probably getting all the kids ready and off to school.

Time to do my Bible reading before that gets by me again!

Morning Thoughts

I woke up this morning with my usual thought and that is what am I passionate about? What is it that I love? Of course this does not include my family and friends, but more what takes up my time, my interest and what I want to spend my time doing.

I used to like doing a lot of needlework and that type of thing but a few years ago I lost interest in all of it. I used to love getting up and studying the Bible and making notes and writing out my thoughts and I guess I still do but I don't do it. I'm just a little concerned that if I don't get started working on something my time on this Earth is just going to pass and I won't have accomplished anything in these last years.  

When I talk to some people they have so many interests, and I think what are mine, why don't I have any. This morning I was thinking I have to pick something and go after it with all my heart as unto the Lord. So why not pick the Lord? I need to get back to studying the scriptures because when I do I see the Lord more clearly and I hear him explain to me many things that he's written in his word.

So this morning I'm laying all this at the foot of the cross and just asking the Lord to allow me to draw closer to him. We can draw close to so many things of interest in this world, but this life and this world only last for a short time  and I know in my heart it's what we do for him that last for eternity.

My mother-in-law passed away the 2nd of February, and the news keeps writing about the actor Luke Perry that just died of a stroke at the age of 52. I will be 64 this year and each day should be lived as the most precious gift I have ever been given. When it is my time to leave this earth what will I have left behind? I want to say I've left behind loving memories in people's hearts and I've left behind love that is eternal. I believe true love comes from Christ alone and he gave us the example of laying down our life for others.

I probably have a lot more to say but since it's only 6:23am I will go ahead and post this for now and get to my studying.  Hope to write more later on what I'm reading and gleaning~

My dear mother-in-law passed away on February 2nd 2019.  My husband Don and I have been married over 43 years and I will miss knowing that we can just go visit or give her a call. But I know she's with Jesus and for that I'm very grateful.

Good Morning Friends!  It is 11:15am so that is morning!  And it is bright and sunny today!  Yay!!!  This makes me happy and I actually feel some energy today.  Praising the LORD for this blessing!

Yesterday, Wednesday, I had a nice time out with my friend Jan!  We went to Wendy's, had lunch and just chatted for a couple hours.  I know it was so good to reconnect in person, and be able to just feel connected to the outside world and a friend at the same time.

After coming home I took an hour nap, and then Don and I had to go to Costco to pick up a couple Rx.  You see, yesterday morning was a high stress morning because my insurance is not recognizing me because they received April's payment, but not May's yet...EVEN THOUGH THEY WITHDREW THE MONEY FROM OUR BANK ACCOUNT!  I guess it hasn't been 'officially' processed yet so therefore I am still considered ineligible~  ARGH!  But, with no insurance the Pharmacy only charged me a small amount for my 2 prescriptions.  I bet with the insurance the copay would have been higher than what I paid, plus the insurance company would have had to pay their part.  Sometimes I wonder just how important it is to have insurance if they will give you a reduction for no insurance.  Of course, all this is for routine.  If there was a major problem I might be glad to have insurance.  Enough of that ranting!  Be content in ALL THINGS!!!

Joan is coming over for lunch today.  I offered 2 different types of quiche or a vegan burger, but she is on a raw diet today, so I can make her a strawberry smoothie.  She is also bringing a salad.  I am still making a quiche-cheddar and broccoli from Costco.  They are very good!  We will probably play some more Rummy.  Just maybe I'll win a game this time!  LOL  I've been on a losing streak.

Today is loads of laundry and dishes catch up.  I need to make a good check list for all the things I need or want to get accomplished soon~

↣↣↣↣↣↣↣↣↣↣↣↣↣↣ later
Don mowed our grass for the first time this year!  It needed it so bad.  We have loads of dandelions and he will be putting something on them soon.  They have taken over most the back yard.  Argh!

Joan, Megan and I had a nice lunch today.  Well, I should say I did with my delicious quiche.  Poor Joan had to eat the worst salad she had ever eaten.  I believe one of the special lettuces had gone extremely bitter, and the combination of her home made dressing and the lettuce it was really awful, but she insisted on not wasting it.  She gets the credit for that one.  I tasted one leaf and it was terrible!!!

I had a delicious black bean burger for supper, bought from Costco!  I can't wait to have another one real soon!

How was your day?  Until later!
Cathy

Okay, I am officially over this dreary weather!  I did get some pictures taken the past few days to share.  Of course I took them when the rain was ceased.

Two flowers that have come up~

Our neighbor's tree in bloom~

Kendell

Our Red Buds are starting to bloom!

Our two buoys we bought years ago in Maine~

The drift wood our daughter found years ago.

The birds and squirrels love this feeder and especially during the winter.

A woman gave out these in Sunday School a few weeks ago.

There was all different kinds of wood.

This rose was given to me Saturday by the waitress at a restaurant.

It has been a quiet day for me.  No company and no going any where.  I laid down about 3 times and took a little nap which never really made me feel more perky.  I guess I don't have much to share except the pictures. 

Please pray for a few really dear people close to me who are suffering in different ways.  God knows who they are and He loves them more than I could.  I do believe so much of what we go through is a spiritual or physical battle, and the LORD  wants to fight our battles for us!  Ask and we will receive the Bible says.  Asking is prayer, so that is why I ask for you to join my prayers with me.  If this is as clear as mud, don't worry, God knows all things!  Hallelujah!  

Tonight I am watching the 1960's game show Password and the 1960's Andy Griffiths~  I watch Password on You Tube and Andy Griffith on Netflix.  Since I remember the originals it is very homey and comforting to watch  them!

Hope you have had a good day!  

Cathy

Today was a good day!  Still waiting for a nice warm, sunny Spring day.  It was rainy and chilly.

My two girls and youngest granddaughter Megan went to Aunt Mary's for our every other Monday lunch together.  Aunt Mary loves to cook, but today she surprised us with going out for pizza.  I had my little Kendell with me and didn't want to leave her in the car so she went in with us, along with her little bed and 'fox' blanket in the bed.  She was on the bench between Megan and Joan and no one said a thing.  She is only 7 pounds and very well behaved.  It was a nice lunch.

While we were there a friend of the girls that I hadn't seen in about 20 years was in for lunch also.  The girls were chatting with her, and I didn't recognize her.  I asked her if I'd ever met her before, and was so surprised to find out she was their friend from the church they grew up in.  She had spent lots of time with us, but I still didn't know her.  It was very nice seeing her again~  Her son is graduating from high school next month!  Wow....am I getting old!  LOL

After going back to my aunt's house, we played Rummy which is one of my favorite card games.  Then it was time to come home.

Today was suppose to be the day I started my clean eating, and that didn't happen!  I must learn to not let "special" events throw me off.  I'm hoping to take off some weight, but also to maybe improve my health for my next quarterly blood work I get done.  Tomorrow is the new starting day!

I enjoyed reading some Scripture this morning at the dining room table.  I was reading 1 Corinthians 12.  I like this verse:
1 Cor 12:12
For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ.
KJV
We are all different but still part of one Body in Christ!

How was your day today?  Hope it was nice!
Till tomorrow!
Cathy

Hello Friends,

Don and I are doing well.  The main news is that he has this coming week of work and then will be retired!!  Wow!  I cannot believe it!  We have thought about this time almost since we first got married.  Then we would dream of retiring when we were old, sitting on a front porch and with him carving wood and me quilting.  He gave up carving for doing stain glass and I have given up quilting for - still to be determined!  Life has a way of changing our interests I guess.  I was doing art, but haven't decided if I'll keep doing that.  Maybe I should clean my house!  That would be a good Spring project.  Deep cleaning is what I'm talking about.  Windows and shades, oven and refrigerator, etc.  We shall see.

I have an IPad now!  Yes, this is a big deal because I do not have a smart phone, and could not take pictures and down load as well, or videos and other apps you do on these devices.  I must say, I love it!  My family and I keep in touch now with a new app call Marco Polo.  If you have someone you want to keep in touch with by little instant videos this is a good one to use.  Now we can see what each other are doing right away and we can share info or chat and then watch when it is convenient to do so.

Recently I have been going to church on Sunday mornings more faithfully and going to a Sunday School class which I love immensely!  Don and I have never really gotten to go to SS together much because he is usually warming up in the Praise Band during that time.  But we are going now, and he just leaves class about 15 minutes early.  The class is taught by our pastor and he does a great job.  There are hand outs weekly which I also love and lots of Scriptures to work on during the week.  This is really motivating me to get back into the Word!  I have also started back with a women's Bible study group I had attended a few years ago, and dropped out because I go to my aunt's every other Monday.  But the ladies have missed me as I have missed them, and invited me to just come every other Monday when I can.  It feels like the LORD is opening up some much needed doors.

Don and I are planning on some low cost things to do around our area after he retires.  He has worked and lived on 3rd shift for the past 8 years, and before that was so busy with his past employments there was little time for us to ever do anything together.  So, now that we are OLD, we hope to enjoy some time together with friends, family and ourselves.  LOL  Old!  I don't feel old!  My grandmother when she was about 65 or so, said, "You might see an old woman, but I am telling you I am only 16 years old inside."  I thought she was nuts because she WAS OLD!!  Oh times, they are a changing!

Hope to post pictures more often, and get back to enjoying writing here in this blog!  Love you all, and hope all is going well in your life!

Cathy